Monday, August 31, 2015

from: Lauren Coughlan

Hello Blogget

Lauren Coughlan

from: Lauren Coughlan

Hiya Blogget




Saturday, May 11, 2013

May 11, 2013

You see the truth of it is that I never stop, not hardly but to take a breath sometimes, because the sounds of a chaotically busy life are more rhythmic and comforting than the sounds of being utterly alone.

Saturday May 11, 2013

Sunday, July 15, 2012

You're gonna wish...

I am simply in awe of her, her talent, and her attitude about life.  
Never a victim.
Always with a voice.
Connected to her emotions. 
Conscious in her life. 

Simply herself
better than ever.

You're gonna wish you never had met me. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

lyrics: my poet

Words fail.

Lyrics are my poet. 
Tempo is my heartbeat.
She knocked softly, I let her in.
{old friend why are you so shy? ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light}

{regrets and mistakes they're memories made}

Sunday, July 1, 2012



"Incapable of action or feeling emotion" ?

I'm am feeling...that's the problem.  That WAS the problem.  I felt and you didn't.

Nagging.  Emptiness.  Something's missing.  Something's not right. 

As in: it's supposed to be there but it's not and I'm waiting for some other feeling to take it's place?
As in: when my father had his leg amputated and he still felt ghost pains where the limb used to be?
He said it just kind of felt "numb".
Yes.  If that's the case, then yes, I'm numb.
It was there, now it's not, but I can't stop feeling it's loss.

Numb hurts. It's definitley not incapable of action; hurt is an action.  It's definitley not incapable of emotion: pain is an emotion.

I thought I was doing fine better. I got to work, logged online like I always do, and that little yellow dot, the one next to your name, it wasn't there.  It hasn't been there.  Your name isn't there either.  It's always there.  I can count the times it's not been there in more than two years...accidentally and intentionally.  I noticed when it went away...I had been counting down the days until it would be gone.  That didn't make it any easier.  Didn't make it any less numbing. 

It's like you're a ghost.

Were you ever really there?

Somehow I knew you'd disappear. 
There was no other way. 
I wanted there to be another way, but I knew somewhere there couldn't be.
You might come back and try and tell me there is another way.
If you could see inside my heart, if you could step inside this thing and feel what it feels like, you'd know that there was no other way.

I don't want to be numb. 
I don't want to feel anything at all.
I'd like for these feelings to be ghosts of their own.

Or maybe not...ghosts come back to haunt you when you least expect them?  Right? 
That's how the stories always go.  I don't like this story.  I don't like this ending.

Happy endings, not haunts.  I need a happy ending. 

Happy endings aren't numb, they're happy. 

I need happy, not numb.