cloudy with a chance of dawn

My first sight of the Dawn after a long, long night.  If I painted a picture of my head & my heart right now, it would look like this horizon.  Heavy & cloudy but not without a palette of beautiful light shining through.  It's going to rain later this morning, feed the dry ground & wash away some of the dust that's been kicked around for these last few hot days. Rainstorms in June...reminds me of places further SouthEast of here.  Those places have my heart, but this morning, I am grateful for these beautiful clouds that are my lullaby.

it is well with my soul (my picture perfect weekend)

And so...it was that time again. Time to go a little North & then a little East. It was time to take a roadtrip. A long and overdue one to the mountains, where the air is cleaner, the trees are taller, the friends are more like family, and I can just be me. Clumsy, carefree, passionate, confused, heartbroken, happy, sad, hungry, tired, beautifully messily me. Few places in this world exist where that can happen. I treasure the places where that exists.

 Into the car I went...riding gear, snacks, CDs, a few changes of clothes, a good book, a head that needed some clearing and the sunroof back was just the way to get rid of all those thoughts that haunt me and do me no good. I always do my best thinking in the car. It is my refuge. It is one of those safe places that I cherish. It's just mine, I decide where we go together, it has always kept me safe, & it keeps my secrets too.

(He's not cheap, but he's dependable, and worth every dollar..& arm & leg! ouch!)

(the gear I packed: how dirty girls get it done)

(I arrived just in time for dinner and to make some of my new favorite Vegan Blueberry Lemon Chia Seed muffins for breakfast for the next few days)

(and then after a long drive and some dinner, the brightest full moon of the year wished us all a good night)

When we awoke, Sunday had come upon us......75* of sunny Sunday blissfulness. Waffles on the back porch turned into beers on the back porch before the crack of noon. We had a goal. Drink, talk, tan, do nothing else.

.....Shock Top (well the bottom of my bottle that is.  Which simply did not do...it was quickly replaced)

.....THE lawn.  I love this lawn.  The end.  You will soon know why.

.....the Couple I <3. I think this picture says it all. Gary & Patti met in wildland fire academy 20+ years ago. Much to the disdain of her nerves, he likes to clean up the property on the weekends. Her inner firefighter cannot be contained. He came up from the burn and grabbed an extinguisher, she followed (in flip flops) with a hose. I grabbed my phone/camera, cause calling for resources and documentation is what I do. I love this new picture of them. It about sums it up. I love their relationship. It gives me hope.

You can only drink so much before you get hungry, and there was pesto to be made. Two drunk women, one incorrigible food processor, and handful of ingredients = perfection. Recipes? Naw. Not this girl. Here's the cooking rule: find good ingredients that stand on their own, match them with ones that you like equally as much, put them together and see what happens. You can't go too horribly wrong. Oh, also...never trust a woman who cannot cook. You'll thank me for this later in life sometime. Trust me. Also trust me when I tell you that this roasted garlic pesto cheese bread can and will some day make for world peace. It.is.that.GOOD!!!

After we soaked up some booze with some bread, it was time for a ride. The dirty girl gear didn't make it in the back of the car for nothing!

I am merely a guest on the trails, which leaves me behind following and eating dust. I'll do it any day. I love to ride, I forget and then I always remember once I get back on my bike.

I risk loosing my phone/camera on rides for pictures like these alone. It was every bit as peaceful as it looks.

wishful thinking

It's unusually warm and sunny for mid-February. I sat outside with the cat while talking to my mom and saw a few dandelions hanging out in the front yard and grabbed my camera. Dandelions remind me of being a kid...who could resist picking these things up and making a mess out of them? <3

a beautiful Mess {photography}

Somewhere this week buried in mounds full of tulle, and with only one day off in many weeks, it struck me: I have a beautiful mess. A beautiful mess of a house, a beautiful mess of a schedule, and a beautiful mess of a life. Creating something in my world looks like chaos, but out of that mess comes something beautiful. I found a name for bucket list item #23.

a beautiful Mess {photography}

These are my photos from today's tutu shoot with Miss MacKenzie who was patient until about photo #150 when she decided she didn't want to smile anymore, she wanted to take pictures with my camera. That's a girl after my own heart!!!

Memorial Day

5am Memorial Day...it was all I could do to not talk myself out of going straight home after work at 6am and going to bed. I had promised myself that I would go out to the Sacramento Valley National Cemetary and for once actually, really take the effort to put the memory into Memorial Day. It was beautiful and breezy outside as I bounded down the stairs with my camera bag and saw the sun breaking through the clouds out to the East. I've driven past the cemetary sign a few dozen times, but never stopped to check it out. Earlier this year, I spent the better part of an hour in a snow dusted National Cemetary in Eastern Tennessee camera-in-hand, reading headstones from soldiers who had been born, lived, and died a century ago. Different locale and horizon, but the same sober haunting feeling washed over me. Who were these men and women? Would they be proud to have served and died for the country as it stands today?

Driving slowly through the gates, there were just a few other souls present - a news truck and reporter knee-deep amongst the headstones waiting for the early morning news, a couple of other photograpers, and a few members of the Veteran's Honor Guard in full dress preparing for the days services.



Quietly, I walked through the headstones reading the names and noticing the dates engraved on each of them. Fathers, sons, brothers, sisters, mothers, husbands, wives...soldiers, Americans. They each bore a message of thankfulness. On a day that seems to have lost some of it's purpose to bargain packs of hot dogs, mattress sales, 4-day weekend camping trips, and the mark of the first day on the lake, I am glad I convinced myself to spent the end of my early morning remembering the importance of the day. God Bless America.

Jenna photoshoot

Not too bad for my second maternity photo shoot...

Badass

Volcanos are badass.

Period.

There is no denying the badassedness of something that is actively creating Earth. Something that forms the inhabitable masses of bubbled up land from the center of the hot, molten rock we live on has got to command some respect. I had a chance to ponder such things last week in Hawai'i at the Kilauea Volcano Park.

It was a long, windy, and desolate ride out to the volcano in the rain to the park. Three matching plastic ponchos later and we were off for a guided tour with Pat the Park Ranger to learn about steam vents, plant adaptation, and what is really at the center of our Earth. And yeah...it did feel a little like Jurassic Park.

As much as the three of us were standing there wishing that the thing would spew lava like mentos in a bottle of soda, I think we would have all run for our lives if so much as a rumble from the ground happened. Standing there on the edge of the caldera looking down at the topography of that canyon, I had the thought that we were standing on top of something that absolutely nothing else in this world, no defense system or man-made shield could possibly hold back. That is awe-inspiring and oh-shit intimadating all at once.

It was a surprise to find that the park is open 24/7, and after hearing about the glow of molten lava that we could witness during the night time hours, it was no question that we would stay and check it out after the sun went down. When else can you say you visited a volcano at night? Really...if there is one thing in life that I am striving to get right, it is taking advantage of the experiences that are within reach when they are and not waiting until next time.

From where we stood at the observation point, it turned out to be little more than similar to the the glow of a flourescent bar sign with a constant column of smoke billowing from it. Being out in the dark with people from all over the world, cameras in hand, was like being at some big community camp fire waiting for Big Foot to show. I cannot lie, I did have an urge to roast a marshmallow.

Camera-speak

I ka nānā no a ‘ike
By observing, one learns.

Sometimes, words are just overratted and underheard. Maybe that's why I'm so fond of my camera...Aloha my friends.


From the top of Diamond Head, Honolulu, O'ahu:

Sunset at Ko'Olina, O'ahu


USS Arizona, Pearl Harbor, O'ahu

Kilauea Caldera, Volcanos National Park, Big Island of Hawai'i


Kailua-Kona, Hawai'i

Shiner Bock & Ray La Montagne

It's a well known fact that I live for great music. Between Pandora and XM, I'm becoming part of more and more fan bases ever-ree-day. My new favorite channel is Coffeehouse and my new favorite artist in the last few weeks is Ray Lamontagne, his voice is intoxicating. Apparently I missed the boat on this one as I'm one of the last music lovers to catch on to this gem of a singer. I just happened to look for things happening at Playhouse Square in downtown Cleveland tonight and got last minute tickets for his show. Conicidence? I think not. I think the music gods had this planned out all along. I mean really, what are the chances I would be in Cleveland on a whim when he was at the State Theatre.

From our seats, he looked like a skinny version of Kenny Loggins circa 1970's, plaid shirt and all. I actually think that he might have been fast-forwarded about 30+ years ahead of his time. Describe his sound? Well, you really have to hear it to understand. He's got this sweet raspy sound that reverberates off the walls. It's an older sound, something you'd hear in the blues clubs after the turn of the century. There's some kind of conviction in his voice that comes from somewhere deep inside, but then just when you least expect it, the quietness of his voice comes through. You would never expect such a sound to come out of a man who looks and sounds (speaking voice) so timid. I got lost in a daydream down some path during "Let It Be Me." I wondered how much it would cost to hire him to sing that song at my wedding. If you are truly a fan of music, you can't help getting both lost and blown away by his sound and the thoughts in his lyrics. Truly one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard.

After the show, it was perfect - low 60's, calm, clear. We wandered down the street towards the bars and live music cafes like fireflys attracted to the light; which really wasn't hard since the pub crawl was a lighted alleyway filled with inebriated patrons who only served as slow motion hurdles for the lightening fast valets that shot down the alleyway like bullets. Just at the end, there it was, the live music mecca becokoned. Flannery's. Imagine it. Corner pub, mahogany and brass bar, filled with the sounds of more live rockin' blues and drunken bar chatter. This is a place I could get comfy in. We just sat for about 3 hours and drank and talked about all kinds of shit that old friends talk about. It's been a while since I last had a long sit down with a good beer but me and a few brown bottles of Shiner Bock got right to it. I forgot how preachy I can get with a few beers in me...yeah, imagine that right?

What a great night. Cleveland really does rock!