Wednesday, July 27, 2011

5 for 5

I just read this article and I scored a big humdinger for all five of them.
Once upon a time, I used to write about dreams, bucket lists, favorites, hopes...I don't write about anything anymore.
I used to count my blessings by the number of good friends that I had...after this year and all the stress in life and all the reality of how people really, truly are, I don't have enough to count on one hand.
Up isn't up, down isn't down, nothing makes that much sense anymore.
I can actually pinpoint the rare moments that I've been happy recently...down to the location, the time of day, and the length of feeling happy and content before it gets washed away.
I've watched small tears turn into big cracks...once full of balance and juggling so many things, events, responsibilities, I just don't care anymore (but I do, a little).
Typically socialble, I find myself spending mroe and more time alone and isolated and planning more trips alone.
I need a new start. I really brand new start, but I don't know how to get there.
Like my co-worker just said..."I need to win the lottery, but I guess I have to start playing it first."

2 comments:

  1. austin?

    lucy and i leave at 6am in the morning ...

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  2. we are kindred spirits, you and i.
    it's high tide and we are drowning in a sea of lacklustery bullshit.
    wait until you get struck by lightning. and if you want, even though every one thinks you're nuts, run out into the rain with a metal rod.
    it'll get ya.

    ReplyDelete