Seasons Change

I think sometimes I have emotional diabetes. Highs and lows, spiking out of control. It's not good. The di-a-beee-tus can damn near kill ya you know!?! Ask Bret Michaels!!! I am trying to be a better person. I have laughed more this week than I have in a loooong time. It was a damn funny week. There have been songs and voices and jokes and innuendo and impressions and tons of big smiles. A high, right? Yeah. The week before that, low.

I cleaned up most of the living room and I finally got the number to the gardener...oh sad, sorry, lawn!!! I've slept. Yes, slept peacefully with the bedroom door open and the dog sleeping on the floor. I feel comfortable in my house and not strangely alone. I like the sounds of nothing. In moderation, of course. It's good to invite someone over just because and not have to clear it with anyone else. I am getting back to being the leaned on instead of being the broken. Oddly enough, I still am trying to blame the current state of messy affairs in my house on other people...oy vey (yeah, keep believing that one, Lauren).

My current week's work in progress is trying to walk the line between attraction and confidence. What I mean by that is that when you find something you really like, some of us (and especially us ladies) tend to be all or nothing. Over thinking, analyzing, showing it off, talking about it, paring it with accessories. Like for instance, I'm notorious for finding some kind of well-fitting clothing item and buying it in every color, wearing it a couple of times a week, and then eventually figuring out that there's just really one shade that really suits me. I am wanting to, instead, look for pieces that will compliment my wardrobe for more than a trend's worth of time and if I have to shop around and pay a little bit more for those pieces, then so be it. How often does that find you've been looking for pop up in the most unexpected place? Kill the overkill. Intepret this as you will.

My self-speech for the time being: Don't over think it. Have fun. Be open to new ideas and people. Like clothes, realize why some come into your life and stay and some leave after they've served their purpose. Let them go, maybe you're making room for someone else fabulous. If you haven't worn it in a season and it just doesn't fit, get rid of it. Stop letting it clutter your life up. Clear your closet, clear your head. Granted there will always be those timeless, classic pieces/friends that never go out of style.

I read something somewhere that said "love finds you when you stop seeking it out and start doing the things you love." I read something else somewhere that said "supremacy of self" which was explained to me somewhere along the lines of having to own you, be in control of yourself or you're in control of nothing. At least that's how I interpretted how it was explained. Stop worrying about everything and everyone else out there and just focus on you. There are a lot of little messages out there in my universe that are being reinforced over and over.

I'm gonna do that and let the pieces fall as they may. I'm going to not look so hard for things that will show up when I least expect them.