Monday, November 2, 2009

1-way ticket to Fantasyland

I got sucked into a Fantasy Football league and now I got the foozeball fever.

"Foozeball is the Devil Bobby Boucher!" ~ Mama Boucher

I barely have enough time for reality somedays, yet I find myself searching for top of the league scoring Tight Ends at 3am and praying that groin and thumb injuries heal before Friday practice. Damn you Brett Favre and your healed might have cost me this week's score and my dignity!

No doubt, there is some hot spandexed man ass in the NFL, but as far as I'm concerned, the treasure of the league and the entire fantasy world is THE SMACK BOARD!!!

"Smack that, all on the board, Smack that, gimme some more, smack that, ooooh-oooo-ooooohh!"

Hmm...ain't no surprise that I am the league leader when it comes to the smack board. The smack highlights:

Welcome to The Week 8 Smack Board

Lauren (Oct 30 4:24 AM): Alright beyatches! We're more than halfway into this thing...let's start with some good early morning Friday smack talk!
Lauren : KC, are you ready to rumble!? I'm paying attention and I'm not going to let your primal screams intimidate me!
Lauren : Booooyaaaah!!!
Casey (Oct 30 1:22 PM): bwwwwhhhhhhaaaaa!!!
Casey : KC is serious business ... you should've seen her last nite with her print outs and highligthers!
Lauren (Oct 30 2:09 PM): oh my jezus
Lauren : highlighters
Lauren : we're highlighting stuff in fantasy land
Lauren : is that why she traded somebody with bostigan?
Lauren : farkle...y'all some of you need to simmah down nah!
KC (Oct 31 12:25 AM): I traded for the week for a good QB, not some piece of crap from the waivers...We will see. All my good players have byes this week. Talk about FRAKLE!!!
Casey (Oct 31 12:41 PM): ....or FARKLE! haha
Lauren(Oct 31 3:59 PM): I'm ready for you KC...I just switched out the hot guys on my starting line up for real players! Bring it on!
KC (Oct 31 9:05 PM): You suck...we will see
Lauren (Nov 1 4:50 AM): whoever told you I suck is telling lies.
Lauren : LiES!
Lauren (Nov 1 4:51 AM): Uh, game Monday, you, me, and some makeup remover to take off the highlighter L I'm gonna write on your forehead
Lauren : oh we're talking some smack!
Lauren : in fact I'll even let you, blue, pink, purple, orange, or old school yellow!!!
Kristin (Nov 1 5:40 AM): lauren u suck?? lol hmmmm
KC: (Nov 1 5:47 AM): If my trade for QB (Farve) ever goes thru I will be in business...Keep talking. You will be picking the highlighter color for your forehead
Lauren (Nov 1 8:46 AM): someone's got to use this smack board!
Lauren :'s gonna be close with your borrowed ass QB
Lauren (Nov 1 8:47 AM): me and Drew Brees say suck it
Lauren : suck it long
Lauren : suck it hard

And so the stage was set.

***********POST GAME WRAP UP****************
That was just the most intense football game ever. I need a smoke and I don't smoke. I broke up with Drew Brees but now we're back together...I can't say no to gold shoes or Texas boys.

It's fantasy. It can happen.


  1. hahaha. and you don't have potential bachelors pounding your door down, why?

  2. I don't know, cause you have to leave the house and/or work place to met men. And because so far I haven't had a penchant for the toothless, jobless, spineless, emotionless that seem to be so attracted to me.