Friday, April 2, 2010

Umbrella, ella, ella...

In my quest to simplify and get my passion for life back, step 1 is that I've had to make some hard decisions about what is really important and what is going to matter in the end. When I say simplify, I mean across the board...getting rid of the toxic and time consuming things in my life from old t-shirts, bad habits, excuses, anger, resentment, and relationships. Some changes are permanent, some might just be temporary. I don't have it figured out yet.

I have learned some new things and been reminded of some old things as of late:

I'm not a fan of change.
I am the most sentimental of the sentimental fools. This is bad, but this also makes for an incredible scrapbooker.
I don't like being vulnerable. I hate it in fact.
I'm stubborn but I'm not impossible.
I wish I could forget more often.
I want to forgive more frequently.
Giving up and giving in is just a pit stop, not a destination.

Sometimes the other side of disappointment is relief.
Longevity is no reason to keep something or someone in your life.
People change for a reason.
It is true...people do forget what you do and what you say, but they don't forget how you made them feel.
I love you actually does mean having to say you're sorry, but true friends don't have to keep apologizing.
You can accept an apology but that doesn't mean that you have to keep letting the hurt continue.
Forgiveness really is never about the other person.

Time heals.

My newest favorite quote...and especially on this gloomy rain-filled day is:

"Friendship is like an umbrella. If you don't open up, you'll get rained on."
I think it stands true for all relationships and definitely those make or break moments in life. It's not that I would rather feel pain than feel nothing at all, but there is a fine line between gaining life experience and being reckless and gullible. I'm always in a revolving state of opening my umbrella and then finding out who my true friends are.

From a friend in Belgium that I've never met, she reminded me of something I told her not to long ago:
"Keep your chin up, that's where the sunshine is."

If there is one thing that all my time 30,000 feet up has proven, it is that no matter what it looks like from down on the ground, the sun is always shining out above the clouds.

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