Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Police line do not cross

I'm tired of dealing with selfish people. My bullshit tolerance is maxed out. At the same time the selfish people continue to prove my point that they are the ones who seem to get the furthest in life. Like living in blissful ignorance. If you're truly that selfish, you just don't see how your ridiculous behavior effects those around you so you can go about your life completely uneffected by the fact that you're pissing on people. Ok, yes, eventually they get theirs, but it still pisses me off to no end that anyone who lacks the heart to give unwillingly to a cause or someone else gets any kind of good karma their way - temporarily or not. Does that make me a selfish person for thinking that?

I found myself in an awkward spot tonight. I last minute volunteered for a police event at a restaurant and found myself more willing to approach those people who looked more "cop-friendly" and trying to find a way to avoid the ones who looked like they weren't. Who am I to judge who I should approach in the name of charity? It wasn't a charity for cops afterall. It was a charity for two little girls with a fatal disease that currently has no cure or funding. End of story - it had nothing to do with me or what people thought of how I earned a living. On top of that, I've known this family for a long time and consider them an extension of my family in a way. So at some point real quick, I just had to suck it up and just talk to all the people who came in for dinner. Of course, the ones who seemed the most unapprochable and uptight were the ones who were the most appreciative of what we were doing and gave the most.

It was proven to be a ridiculously hard thing to do to walk 45+ miles in the name of someone you never met, but I've never seen such determined people as I did in my work family this Sunday. That is a bit of an extreme example, but none the less, it takes just as much courage for some people to approach a stranger.

Really, it's hard putting yourself out there, outside of your safe zone, but how are you ever going to get anywhere if you don't wander out from the confines of what you already know? I don't have a lot of fears about life, but I guess I can say that I have a concern that I'll stop growing and turn into one of those people who's afraid to try something new and gets stuck in a rut. I'm afraid of being understimulated and stuck being a person who can't figure out how to evolve. You know that feeling you get when you take a risk on something or finally speak your mind or do something that just was the right thing to do? I'm afraid of losing the ability to feel that. That compliment that I got taped to my locker that one night..."be fearless". I'm afraid of loosing that.

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