Waterwings optional

I just read this quote in the Austin, TX city guide.

"Travel is more than just A to B. It should feed your soul."

Well, I want to go to Texas reeeeal bad, y'all; and when I go, I want to go floatin' on an innertube down the Guadalupe River. Kinda lii-yke this:


I'm just a simple girl with simple requests. All I need is a rope to tie off my floatin' water cooler full of American beer and a few hundred neighbors decked out in cowboy hats and lifejackets. Waterwings optional of course.