It's 1pm and I just got woken up by housekeeping for the 2nd time today. I woke up with this hazy thought that I just had to blog. Like one of those strange dreams you have that you have to write down when you wake up so you can analyze it later to figure out "what the hell was just runnin through my head?"
My thought was this...damn, I have some serious parental insticts. I slowly, slowly see myself turning into my parents and I don't even have kids - well not infants that I gave birth to let's say. Without going into the details of my friend's lives, I'll just say that I have a friend who hasn't experienced a lot in life. Not by any means. She's gone from one sheltered existence to the next and now that she's finally venturing into the real world at nearly 30 years old, she is like a kid in a candy shop. Except this candy shop is full of liars, cheats, posers, and vicious rotten "treats".
My thought about her current experience in life is this: I understand it. I understand the need to experience things in life and to make stupid decisions just for the sake of making stupid decisions. I understand wanting to be in the midst of things that allow you to look back and say "what the hell was I thinking?!" I understand wantign to just say "I just want to have fun and fuck the rest of it!"
The problem is that it's a dangerous world out there. My general distrust of society is fueled by a lot of work experiences. My general distrust of men is fuled by, well, just bad men that I've expereinced in my life and witnessed with all of my friend's. The other problem is that when you live your life in a bubble, you never learn to read people or listen to that inner voice that pipes up when things just don't seem to be right. At this stage in her life, she's Pinnochio and I'm Jiminy Cricket...I'm the concience that's adapted and grown from experience. I'm the parent here.
My parental instict kicked in pretty hard this morning when I came to the conclusion that no matter what, your friends are your friends for the most part. There are very few things that will cause me to give up on a friend - not unlike being a parent. I want her to learn and grow from this and get this out of her system. I've given her all the advice I have earned from my experience and now I just want her to be safe. Safe. Without the history and parental connection to raising someone from their first day in the world, I now get the feeling of what I put my parents through with some of my adventures into the world during my late teens and early 20's...and I was the good kid.
Just keep it safe kid, just keep it safe...
your friend is lucky to have such an awesome mom :)
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