Monday, June 29, 2009

Brown Eyed Girl

I'm sucked into Facebook and it's damned quizzes although I never really agree with anything they ever reveal about me. This one however...this one kind of hit it right on the freaking monay!

When people look into your eyes, they can tell that you're a funny and down-to-earth person. You love to make people laugh, and always know how to cheer someone up when they're down. People can tell when you're upset just by looking into your eyes. Your jokes make you a lovable and sociable person, and you make friends easily. You tend to balance your life between school, friends, and family fairly easily, but sometimes you let your grades slip. You're great on stage and would make an awesome comedian!

I have a hard time seeing myself as the people around me do. Ok, yeah, that's nothing special, right? Someone told me I have a big heart and I felt the need to defend why I thought I didn't, but then someone else made mention of me being a bitch and I didn't really even blink. What is that? Why is it so hard to accept sincerity and being heartfelt? Things that make you go hmmm....

I've had such a full weekend, I don't know where to start with my blogging. Perhaps in the next 8 hours of my graveyard shift on a 90 degree night in the Summer waiting for chaos to ensue and people to drop like flies, I will muster up the adjectives to give it a go.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Dear Tahoe...

Dear 2005 Sport Red Chevy Tahoe,

I just wanted to write you to tell you how much I love you for these reasons but not these reasons alone.

You keep me warm when I am cold.
You keep me cool when I am hot.
You keep me dry when it is raining and you blow my hair in the breeze when it's beautiful and sunny outside.
I feel safe when you surround me.
You listen to me sing and talk to myself and you never say how ridiculous I sound when I sing like Aretha, Cher, Shikira, or like Cher singing a Shakira song.
Day and night,you play all my favorite songs for me at the touch of a button and you never complain about the twangy country songs.
You go with me on almost all of my adventures and you never complain when I bring all of my girlfriends along with me.
You know how to get to all my favorite places no matter how girly, secluded, or random.
You have spent more adventures with me than any of my other friends combined.
You have also driven with me to all those bad adventures and don't make me feel shameful when I walk the walk of shame to you to drive the drive of shame home in the morning.
You give me flashing signs when something is wrong and you don't make me play guessing games to find out what you're trying to say.
We've been through mud, sand, snow, rain, wheat fields, and the can stick with it through it all.
You wait paiently until I get back to you and you only honk at me when I really, really, really push your buttons.
You cruise along at the right speed and when I need you to have power, you always come through.
You're great at keeping gossip to yourself and you even put up with my mother when she comes along.
You carry all my favorite bags and suitcases of things and never complain that they're too heavy.
In return all you ask is that I treat you good, occasionally keep you clean, and feed you enough to keep you from running on empty.

So, 2005 Sport Red Chevy Tahoe, I love you.

Yours truly,
Your car owner, Lauren

P.S. If you happen to come across a man with some of these qualities, will you tell him all you do for me and if he can do the same, I will love him just as much. Thanks!

P.P.S You might also tell him that he will be spending a lot of time in the passenger seat, because we both konw that we play the best when I'm a behind the wheel.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Jiminy Cricket!

It's 1pm and I just got woken up by housekeeping for the 2nd time today. I woke up with this hazy thought that I just had to blog. Like one of those strange dreams you have that you have to write down when you wake up so you can analyze it later to figure out "what the hell was just runnin through my head?"

My thought was this...damn, I have some serious parental insticts. I slowly, slowly see myself turning into my parents and I don't even have kids - well not infants that I gave birth to let's say. Without going into the details of my friend's lives, I'll just say that I have a friend who hasn't experienced a lot in life. Not by any means. She's gone from one sheltered existence to the next and now that she's finally venturing into the real world at nearly 30 years old, she is like a kid in a candy shop. Except this candy shop is full of liars, cheats, posers, and vicious rotten "treats".

My thought about her current experience in life is this: I understand it. I understand the need to experience things in life and to make stupid decisions just for the sake of making stupid decisions. I understand wanting to be in the midst of things that allow you to look back and say "what the hell was I thinking?!" I understand wantign to just say "I just want to have fun and fuck the rest of it!"

The problem is that it's a dangerous world out there. My general distrust of society is fueled by a lot of work experiences. My general distrust of men is fuled by, well, just bad men that I've expereinced in my life and witnessed with all of my friend's. The other problem is that when you live your life in a bubble, you never learn to read people or listen to that inner voice that pipes up when things just don't seem to be right. At this stage in her life, she's Pinnochio and I'm Jiminy Cricket...I'm the concience that's adapted and grown from experience. I'm the parent here.

My parental instict kicked in pretty hard this morning when I came to the conclusion that no matter what, your friends are your friends for the most part. There are very few things that will cause me to give up on a friend - not unlike being a parent. I want her to learn and grow from this and get this out of her system. I've given her all the advice I have earned from my experience and now I just want her to be safe. Safe. Without the history and parental connection to raising someone from their first day in the world, I now get the feeling of what I put my parents through with some of my adventures into the world during my late teens and early 20's...and I was the good kid.

Just keep it safe kid, just keep it safe...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's random, and I'm kind of drunk in my living room on a Thursday night

I'm eathing cheeze-its and drinking white wine. Eww, why? Why? Because I can. I love my new couch which currently has 2 new pillows, 1 old friend, and 3 condoms on it. Don't ask. And no there is no hanky panky or kinky going on...just class. On life...and pickles. Put it together.

Otherwise in life, I'm in a little bit of a debate with my all to-similar-personality best friend. We disagree but unlike most friendships, it is NOT the end of the world. I appreciate people who have opinions and views on this world. I love my good ol' friend who isn't afraid to disagree with me to just not rock the boat. I supposed that's why we get along so well.

I am on my 3rd glass of white wine, so I'm either going to be slightly more honest or slightly more confused. Actuall, probably both.

Shit. Now we can call it slightly tipsy with a 3/4 full glass of wine and a wine soaked couch. Nice. I am overdue to be overdrunk. I am going to LA this weekend and I suspect that there is a pint glass or a shotglass or a wineglass with my name written all over it.

My mind is always raching a mile a minute - like this, Journey has some amazing karaoke songs. I have a plan to get tanked, tanned, teased, and turned out in a short dress in Vegas and belt out a good Journey song in front of the one constant if not many more girlfriends who are there just because girls gotta have fun. I will do it. I'm not afraid. I have dressed up as Aretha Franklin once and sang like Linda Perry.

Earlier today, I sat over spicy tuna sushi and discussed the downfalls of relationships, men, and just people in general. When did life become so complicated? Just when you think you know, you never really do. Am I commitment phobe? I don't think so, but this world full of fucking shitty reltionships has my head spinning.

Some will win, some will loose, some are born to sing the blues...

My head is fuzzy, my knee is bugging me, and I think this might hurt in the morning.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Life is just full

My busy friend Kat from Australia said this:

"Life is just full."

Yeah, I couldn't have said it better Kat.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009


This is a little self-indulugent, but who cares?

RULE 1: You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2: You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone comments and asks!(If you want an explanation... comment.) I look forward the the questions...

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty

Kissed one of your Blogger friends? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back? Guilty (and then some)

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

Held a snake? Guilty

Been suspended from school? Guilty

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Guilty

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Innocent

Sat on a roof top? Guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty

Sang in the shower? GUILTY!

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty

Shaved your head? Innocent

Slept naked? GUILTY

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? guilty

Been in a band? Innocent...for now

Shot a gun? Guilty

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Ever been arrested? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Guilty (and overdue)

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Innocent

Erased someone from your phone without them knowing? Guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?Innocent

Ever been a Model? Guilty

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Do you still communicate an ex? Guilty

DATING Someone? Innocent

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? Innocent

Get totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty

Slept with more than one person in a 72 hour period? Innocent

Told someone you loved them and didn't mean it? Innocent

Did "the do" in your parents bed? Innocent and gross

Forced your brother/sister to ask someone out for you? Innocent

Peed on yourself after the age of 10? Guilty

Will you re post this? Guilty

Monday, June 15, 2009

surround yourself with people who make you happy

I'm sitting here on my new couch with my new guitar listening to Keith Urban sing I Wanna Kiss a Girl. On my 28th birthday, I went to meet a beautiful new person who is only 8 days old! I had lunch with my family and dinner with great friends. I got what I really wanted for my birthday and despite the sleep deprivation, it was a great, great day! I had a pre-birthday wish send to me from Belgium and a cake right at midnight. I had well wishes in my inbox and text when I woke up and talked to all of my best friends before the sun went down on the day. I don't have any witty thoughts or an observatory blog about life. I just had a great birthday and that's it. Simple enough, right? I surrounded myself by great friends and family and then reported to work at 10pm for the graveyard shift where I got 2 great CD's, a bottle of my favorite wine, and a wine glass just for me. I love June...and I really loved today. :) Even seeing the ex-hole couldn't put a damper in this day. Everyone really should have a Happy, Happy Birthday.

Define yourself

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
– Harvey Fierstein

Happy Birthday to me

I'm 28 as of 34 minutes ago. I'll just flat out admit that I'm having a hard time swallowing that number. I'm legitimately in my late 20's now with 30 staring me down like the money in those damned Geico commercials. Seems like time has gone faster in the last few years than it it did in the first few years. I remember when I 20, I couldn't wait to be 21 so I could drink, and then when I was past 21, I couldn't wait to be 25 so I could easily rent a car from most of the national rental agencies. Funny the little mileposts we put on a certian number.

If you would have asked me at 13, 17, 20 where I was going to be right now at 28, the picture would have probably been a lot different. When you're 13 imagining into the future of what 15 years from then looks like, it looks a helluva a lot different then the reality that it is. Honestly, I figured I would be married and have at least one if not more kids right now. The fact that I'm not either doens't bother me. I don't really know what bothers me about 28. It's not even really a full on bother, it's just a little nag.

But then the other way I see it is that I still have 2 full on years to being really, really stupid and blaming it on being in my 20's. That's like 729 full days and nights. I could do a lot of damage in those years and well, hell, I'll toast to that!

Friday, June 12, 2009

This is my thought

I always do this. I always get involed in too much and I don't know when to stop. I have every minute of every day booked. I drove 8 hours and 500 miles yesterday. Working overtime today, food festival tomorrow, overtime on Sunday, birthday on Monday, picking up my houseguest from the airport on Tuesday, a single day off on Wednesday, going to the city on Thursday, going to LA on Friday, coming home on Tuesday...see how it goes. On and on.

Slow down kid. You're so busy keeping life busy, you're rushing through a lot of stuff. I can't enjoy the moment since I'm always thinking of what's next.

Like this...I need a bigger couch and I saw one today for $300. Something is seriously making my face itch. What the hell am I going to do for Father's Day!?

Stop and smell the roses, or verbenas, or gerbera daisys, snapdragons...something that I planted in the backyard today. Just breath kid.

Priority #1 - get Team Josh singned up for Relay for Life.

A dashful day

Gosh. I'm so tired, but there's so much I want to many things! I spent 8 hours and 450 miles on the road today from 11am to 1am. I sooo earned my road warrior girl scout badge today! A few blogs ago, I blogged about making the most of the dash. I did it for today's dash. Woke up at my friend's house up north in the trees in Susanville, while driving the 4 hours home caught up with all my friends on the drive home, unloaded the pots of plants I had worked on planting for 2 days, cleaned up my back deck, found hope and solace in my soon to be re-claimed backyard, and then jumped back in the car, picking up my sister and uncle to drive to the Santa Cruz Mountains for a concert with India Arie. As I sat, in a thin shawl and dress on a freezing summer night, in the punchbowl arena in the Saratoga hills at the Mountain Winery, I was completly impressed with her. She is the kind of artist I would want to be...when I grow up. Since I am 3 days away from my 28th birthday, I have decided that I never want to grow up. I have a good deal of depth to go into when it comes to my up and coming age, but that's for another blog and another day with far fewer miles put on this old gal.

Monday, June 8, 2009


Need I say more? Serenity here I come! Just as I'm typing this I hear the mailman dropping new music my mailbox out front. Ooohhh, music gods you've shone down on me with new roadtrip tunes. Piling up on my kitchen table are all my hobbies packed neatly in their own cases and they're all going with me. Camera and all my lenses, makeup by the lb, scrapbooking supplies en masse, and the 60 lbs of riding gear out in the garage that could use a dusting off. Lord, oh, Lord, it pays to have friends in wooded, secluded, retreatful places.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

thunder rolls

In the midst of having a religous/political discussion about same-sex marriage on facebook, a bright flash through the living room curtain caught my eye.


I've been waiting for one of these for the last two nights. I drove a little slower tonight on my way home so I could take in the thick blanket of clouds that was holding down the warm summer air. I love thunderstorms. I can't even remember being afraid of them as a kid like a lot of others were. I think they're awe inspiring and if Kenny Chesney sings about the rain being sexy, I think thunderstorms up the ante even more.

As ominous as they sound and eerie as they look, I wish I could sit on a big ol' screened in porch somewhere in the Plains of some great flat lands and watch one of nature's greatest light shows. I even went as far as to look for "Best US spots for thunderstorms" yesterday and didn't come up with much; I'll have to work on finding a better answer for that and add it to my travel bucket list. It's not hard to understand how ancient civilizations and tribes gave so much power and reverence to thunder and lightening. Nature is indescribable and beautifully unpredicable.

It's getting closer. Time to kill the light from the laptop and watch the rest of this.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Fingers crossed

How did it get to be June 3rd already? Time seems to go by so much faster as an adult. I remember being "bored to death!" when I was a kid. Remember that? "There's nothing to do. I'm bored to death!" to which my mom would always say "boring is a state of mind."

June, June, June. It's my birthday month. I used to be so excited as a kid when June came around. I'd start looking for cards in the mail from my aunts and my grandma. Grandma would always send some cute little card with a kitten portrait on it. I got rid of a lot of those cards somewhere along the years when she was still alive. Nostalgia isn't much for kids, but I still managed to save some of them as I got a little older. Something about seeing the uniqueness of handwriting helps keep some memories alive.

There was always that unknown factor during birthdays when I was a kid. I think that was what was so exciting. Now that I have my own bank account, I can pretty much buy anything that I want which makes me a hard person to buy for. I haven't been excited to get a birthday present for years but I'm keeping my figers crossed this year for the first time in a long time. Funny...I sound like a kid again. I think it's a good thing to kinda be like a kid again even if it just once a year.

Let's see if I get my birthday wish.